LOVE IS BLIND(ING)
Daters can convince themselves that the impossible can happen. Michael was one such person (until he used our services and had a ‘reality check’): he met Celia on line and it turned out that they had friends in common; thus, Michael was able to confirm that her husband had indeed embezzled money out of their jointly owned company and she was indeed widowed. Since meeting through a dating site, Celia moved back to her native Brazil with her 3 children but continued to exchange steamy texts with Michael. And then, suddenly Celia stopped all forms of communications. Infatuated Michael would not take no for an answer; when he came to see us, he had developed a series of ‘reasons’ why Celia had terminated their on-line exchanges, and was intending to fly off to Brazil to confront her and convince her to come back to the UK – abandoning her comfortable and reassuring lifestyle in Brazil in her parents’ home and she would come with her 3 children to live with him in his artist’s digs. We suggested that he should take a whole week’s ‘radio silence’ and reconsider his proposition.
In this case, Celia was not lying; Michael was lying to himself – creating in his mind pretexts for her silence: “she was a devout Catholic”; “her parents were putting pressure on her, etc, etc.”
After a couple of sessions with us, Michael concluded: “Silence and time will be the healer in this case and if [sic] does not do the trick then I am pretty sure she is not the one for me! So I will concentrate in making my life better so whoever I share with will benefit from a steady and happy environment.”