Moving On (3)
So now, here we are … You have entered your details on-line; you are now about ready to meet…
Choosing the venue:
If it befalls you to choose a venue, ensure it is somewhere that you can hear each other.
Furthermore, if I am doing the booking, I book in my first name or my acronym ‘Dr Catherine’ so that my date can ask for me, without my having had to divulge my surname (again, I am thinking here about safety and fun).
I may also let my date know what colour I am wearing or I may wear a hat which will distinguish me from other singletons.
Some of my male clients like to choose a place where they can have a glass/bottle of wine and stay on for a meal if they are getting on well.
Preparation for your meeting: You have now agreed on a venue.
- Because we are so concerned at Dr Catherine about personal safety, please be sure to give the details of your date to a friend or to your dating consultant.
- Your appearance. Again, going back to the 7 seconds you have to make an impression, you need to go through a quick check. Hair/nails/shoes/clothes.
- As with my client above, you might want to go for a style-over.
- Whatever you decide, be sure that you feel comfortable in the outfit you have selected.
The meeting itself:
- Ice breakers:
Silence is fine between people who know each other well, but silence can really kill the atmosphere.
That is where some ice breakers can come in useful:
- ‘How did you get here?’
- ‘Have you been here before?’
- ‘What sort of holidays do you like? Any preferred destination?’
- ‘What sort of books/films/music do you like?’
The key thing to remember is to ASK questions and LISTEN to the replies. People love talking about themselves.
On no occasion, talk about your ‘ex’ or ask your date about theirs.
- Plan an exit:
Perhaps things are not going that well… And you feel you need to leave.
A good ploy is to agree with a friend or your dating consultant that they call you one hour after the appointment and make your excuses.
If you have not made that arrangement, there is always a visit to the loo and arrange the call from there.
- The Bill
I have written about this at length in a separate blog ……
- Saying Good-Bye:
‘Shall we meet again?’ On the dating scene, it is quite OK to say ‘I do not think so’, but if you are uncomfortable with that you may want to reply ‘I would like to think about it’. This gives you the opportunity to text your thoughts.
- Getting Home Safely:
The premise of my coaching service on the subject of dating is to ensure dating is safe and fun. Be sure to let your friend or coach know you have arrived home safely.
After your date:
I find it quite useful to go through the meeting to see what went well and what could be improved. After all, you have not dated in a while and times have moved on, learn from the experience.
And, above all, stay safe and have fun!