Your on-line profile
In yesterday’s post in social media, we discussed the importance of having more than one photo in your on-line dating profile.
Psychologists say that it takes 7 (or even 4) seconds to make an impression – so be sure that your photo is recent and reveals an aspect of your character.
60% of a person’s opinion of us is determined by our appearance (the other 2 being communication and behaviour). So make sure you are wearing clothes that represent you and, gentlemen, avoid pictures of yourselves in a tuxedo – which says nothing about you at all.
In psychological jargon, there is an expression ‘enclothed cognition’ which describes the systematic influence that our clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes.
A client of mine related how he decided to meet an online dater with whom he felt a strong ‘rapport’. When she turned up at the restaurant, he met a lady with a strong resemblance to the photo(s) on the site, but he sensed something was amiss… Shortly after their drinks arrived, her phone – which she had placed next to her on the table – suddenly rang and from the corner of his eye …… he saw the name ‘Sis’ on the screen. The lady in question had posted the photo of her (younger) sister whom she felt was more successful and popular than her.
Needless to say, my client quickly rose from his seat and departed without further ado…
This brings us to our second point: be honest in your profile and say things as they are. We are currently doing a case study with a delightful man, David, who was born deaf. In fact, I met David on line but was most confused when I met him and noticed that his speech was impaired. I was so distracted by this that I could not focus properly on our conversation. I later found out that he had overcome his deafness by having a transplant.
So, as part of our case study, I had one of our preferred photographers, the lovely Miguel Arantes-Galvao, take a couple of shots of him – whilst David and I set out to write his profile – pointing out that he was born deaf but had overcome his condition and was presently learning French and had qualified as an accountant. To his surprise, within 24 hours of posting, he had 26 likes and 6 winks!
In short, the moral of this story is to be truthful about your appearance and your physical attributes. Who wants to date a liar?